Essay

On to the essay! Before diving into the success steps (i.e., there are six), you need to know the basics. That means the directions. The following comes straight from the HiSET and will look the same on test day.

Directions

This is a test of your writing skills. Your response will be scored based on:

• Development of a central position through explanation of supporting reasons and examples from passages and personal experience
• Clear organization of ideas, including an introduction and conclusion, logical paragraphs, and effective transitions
• Language use, including varied work choice, varied sentence construction, and appropriate voice
• Clarity and correctness of writing conventions

Below you will find two passages in which the authors put forth differing perspectives on an issue of importance. Read both passages carefully, noting the strength and weaknesses of each discussion. Then, you will write an essay in which you explain your own opinion on the issue.

Let’s break down the bullet points.

• Development of a central position through explanation of supporting reasons and examples from passages and personal experience
  • A “central position” is a thesis statement. “Supporting reasons” are examples from the text. Try to focus on these, rather than personal experiences, in your essay.
• Clear organization of ideas, including an introduction and conclusion, logical paragraphs, and effective transitions
  • Organization is key to essay success. Five-paragraph essay structure is a great way to set up your introduction, three main ideas, and conclusion. “Effective transitions” refers to transition words and phrases.
• Language use, including varied work choice, varied sentence construction, and appropriate voice
  • Write a mix of long and short sentences to improve your flow. An “appropriate voice” is one resembling one the two passages.
• Clarity and correctness of writing conventions
  • This refers to the grammar and mechanics topics we reviewed earlier in this study guide.

In the direction’s concluding paragraph, “your own opinion on the issue” again refers to your thesis statement, one you will use evidence from both passages to support.

Note
I suggest avoiding using “personal experience” as evidence is that test day stress may make recalling relevant examples extremely difficult. You may lose precious minutes trying to come up with a personal example when other good evidence supporting your thesis is right there in the passages.

Step #1: Analyze the Prompt

The first step in writing a successful essay is analyzing the prompt. Remember that analysis means more than simply reading. Here are the questions you need to ask yourself in the first 60 seconds after reading the prompt:

• What is the topic?
• What can I assume about the passages I will read?
• What am I being asked to do?
• What kinds of evidence will I need to include in my essay?

Answering these questions will prime your mind to read the passages and extract relevant information.

Note
The prompt will come AFTER the passages in a separate text box.

That said, let’s examine a prompt, one relating to two passages we will see later on.

Write an essay in which you explain your position on the issue of whether climbing Mt. Everest has become too commercialized or still presents experienced climbers with the challenge of a lifetime.

Can you spot the answers to Questions 1-4 we just discussed?

• Mt. Everest
• There will be two opposing arguments about climbing Mt. Everest.
• Decide whether climbing Mt. Everest is too commercialized or still presents experienced climbers with the challenge of a lifetime.
• Evidence from the passages. (i.e., After all, it’s very, very unlikely that you know what it’s like to climb Mt. Everest. HOWEVER, it may be possible to put yourself in the shoes of a climber and draw a conclusion.)

Step #2: Read with Purpose

Once you’ve analyzed the prompt, it’s time to dive into the passages. Even though you’re under a time limit, you need to read with purpose. Ignoring this crucial step will make everything that follows much more difficult.

Here are some great tips on how to read with purpose:

• Identify the topic of each passage.
• Identify the author’s tone and point of view.
• Identify what opinion(s) the author is conveying.
  • If you can’t find an opinion, ask yourself, “Why did the author write this?”
    • Remember, text exists to inform, persuade, or entertain.

Let’s return to our Mt. Everest example. Here are two passages, each by a mountaineer who summited the tallest mountain in the world.  

Passage 1

I thought it would be the thrill of a lifetime, standing at 29,032 feet above sea level. And in many ways, it was. The weather was perfect, the view awe inspiring. Yet as I looked down at my feet, I saw something that made me sigh – a crushed plastic soda bottle.

The bottle was just one symptom of the rabid commercialization I witnessed during my two months on the mountain. I admit that some of it is necessary. Commercial operators organize expedition teams, provide logistics and support, and can save climbers’ lives if they get into trouble. Yet these operators have gone too far and robbed climbers of their mountaineering spirit.

When I first walked into base camp at 17,598 feet, I found luxury commercial operators providing their climbers with relaxation tents sporting espresso machines, leather couches, and 60-inch televisions. Some operators helicopter in private chefs from Kathmandu and provide each climber with a private tent. Gone are the days when climbers bunked with one another throughout the climb, becoming brothers in arms through the shared, arduous experience.

The luxuries continue up the mountain. Even more affordable commercial operators provide each climber with multiple Sherpas to carry gear and oxygen. Sherpas have always been necessary to lay new guide ropes each climbing season, but where is the accomplishment if someone else is carrying 99% of your stuff?

Commercial operators play an important role in ensuring climbers’ safety. However, they have lost their way in an attempt to increase profits, commercializing the climbing experience and turning what should be a tremendous accomplishment into a mundane one.

Passage 2

Making it to the top of Mt. Everest was the most challenging thing I have ever done. Standing on that summit took so much more than investing money in a good commercial operator. I also invested two years of my life in improving my health, summiting smaller mountains, and learning everything I needed to know to succeed on summit day.

There is nothing easy about climbing Mt. Everest, no matter how much support a commercial operator provides. Yes, I enjoyed delicious meals other climbers may not have. But, for me, good food is a necessity, especially during the strenuous weeks of acclimatizing to the thin air and cold weather.

The Sherpas my commercial operator provided were a godsend. They marked the trails and monitored my condition throughout the climb. If they had told me to turn back for whatever reason, I would have done so in a heartbeat. It is because of their expertise that I am alive to write these words.

No one can convince me that the amazing help I received diminishes my accomplishment in any way. At the end of the day, I was the one who had to take every step, feel every ache, and face each obstacle head on. Climbers in 2024 still need the mountaineering spirit of first summiteer Sir Edmund Hillary if they wish to stand on the Roof of the World.

Let’s return to our bullet points and find the information we need.

• Identify the topic of each passage.
  • The topic of the passage is the commercialization of Mt. Everest and its effect on the climbing experience.
• Identify the author’s tone and point of view.
  • Although both climbers have summited Mt. Everest, their points of view differ greatly regarding the commercialization of climbing Mt. Everest.
  • The author of Passage 1 has a very negative tone, as he thinks the commercialization of climbing Mt. Everest detracts from the climbing experience.
  • The author of Passage 2 has a positive tone, as he believes that even with commercialization, climbing Mt. Everest is still the challenge of a lifetime.
• Identify what opinion(s) the author is conveying.
  • The authors of Passages 1 and 2 have clear opinions regarding the commercialization of climbing Mt. Everest.
  • The author of Passage 1 wishes the commercialization of Mt. Everest didn’t exist.
  • The author of Passage 2 is fine with the level of commercialization.

Note
On the HiSET, the difference of opinions between the two authors may not be as clear cut. You may need to spend an extra minute or two figuring out the subtle differences between the authors’ opinions.

Step #3: Create a Thesis

Your thesis statement is the thing you’re trying to prove. Remember that a good thesis makes a claim that evidence from one or both passages supports. It also introduces what your essay is about.

To write a good thesis related to our Mt. Everest passages, we need to revisit the prompt.

Write an essay in which you explain your position on the issue of whether climbing Mt. Everest has become too commercialized or still presents experienced climbers with the challenge of a lifetime. 

The prompt presents you with two clear options:

• Agree with the author of Passage 1.
  • Example: Rampant commercialization has taken away the challenge of climbing Mt. Everest.
• Agree with the author of Passage 2.
  • Example: Climbing Mt. Everest remains a challenge despite the luxuries commercial operators provide.

Once you decide which author’s opinion best fits your own, it’s time to find some evidence.

Hint
There is no ‘right answer’ when it comes to writing a thesis. Graders will not care which author you agree with as long as you write well and back up your thesis with relevant textual evidence.

Step #4: Find Evidence

Let’s look at what kinds of evidence would work for your essay.

Thesis #1: Rampant commercialization has taken away the challenge of climbing Mt. Everest.

Let’s first focus on Passage 1, where most, but not all of the evidence we need exists. Here are some relevant examples you could use in your essay:

• a crushed plastic soda bottle.
• espresso machines, leather couches, and 60-inch televisions
• private chefs
• private tent
• multiple Sherpas to carry gear and oxygen

That’s A LOT of evidence you could discuss in your body paragraphs. But what about Passage 2? How could someone who disagrees with the author of Passage 1 criticize the commercialization of climbing Mt. Everest?

ANSWER: The author of passage 2 admits they relied heavily on their commercial operator to make it to the summit. You could argue that this admission lessens their accomplishment.

Thesis #2: Climbing Mt. Everest remains a challenge despite the luxuries commercial operators provide.

Let’s switch gears and focus on Passage 2, where most, but not all of the evidence we need exists. Here are some relevant examples you could use in your essay:

• invested two years of my life in improving my health, summiting smaller mountains, and learning everything I needed to know to succeed on summit day.
• the strenuous weeks of acclimatizing to the thin air and cold weather
• I was the one who had to take every step, feel every ache, and face each obstacle head on

These are all great points from the passage you could discuss in your essay. As in our discussion of Thesis #1, we need to look at Passage 1 for potential evidence, too. Can you find any?

ANSWER: The author of Passage 1 admits that commercial operators are 100% necessary when climbing Mt. Everest. By admitting it that it is necessary, who is he to criticize the kinds of services these operators provide climbers?

Hint
Going into the opposing passage for evidence is an advanced skill. So, if you feel rushed on HiSET test day, stick with the evidence that stands out in the passage best aligning with your thesis.

Step #5: Outline/Write

Once you have evidence, it’s time to outline. This is where you will use the scratch paper/pencils the test center provides.

Here are tried and true outlining steps that can help you write a good five-paragraph essay within the time limit.

Hint
You should take no more than 3-4 minutes to complete the following steps. Remember that you want to use most of your time writing/editing.

• Write your thesis at the top.
• Underneath, write #1, #2, and #3 in that order.
  • These represent your body paragraphs.
• Next to these numbers, copy a piece of evidence you want to discuss in your paragraph.
• Next to each piece of evidence, describe in your own words why it supports your thesis.

After you have that basic framework, it’s time to write. Here are some additional tips that should help you throughout the writing process:

• Make your thesis the first or last line of paragraph 1.
• In your body paragraphs, introduce the evidence before directly quoting from the passage or paraphrasing.
• Don’t forget to transfer everything from your outline into your essay (i.e., Graders will not see your outline or other hand-written notes).
• If you’re rushed for time, it’s okay for your conclusion (the fifth paragraph) to be 1-2 sentences. Try to restate your thesis in a new way. If you can add a little commentary leading up to it, do so.

Hint
Ideally, you should have 5-10 minutes remaining to do the next and final step, revising/editing.

Step #6: Revise/Edit

In this important time, ask yourself the following questions as you review your essay draft:

• Did I include my thesis statement in the first paragraph?
• Do each of my body paragraphs contain a main idea?
• Did I include relevant evidence in my body paragraphs?
• Did anything I wrote NOT support my thesis (or is irrelevant)?
• Does my writing flow well?
• Did I use an appropriate tone/word choice?
• Did I include a conclusion (even if it’s just a sentence)?

Hint
If you’re taking the paper/pencil version of the HiSET, remember to clearly erase or mark out content you want your essay grader to disregard.